Someone with a fear of intimacy may sabotage their relationships with others. Some might avoid maintaining relationships, pull back from conflicts, or hold back from being emotionally close to the other person.

Others may react intensely to situations, such as being controlling or overly critical, using guilt on their partner to express hurt, or being clingy.

Fear of intimacy can hold you back from creating the type of healthy relationships you need to flourish in lifeIt is often unconscious and affects your ability to form or maintain close relationships.

Please understand that fear of intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean you are intentionally rejecting love from another. Unconsciously you tend to respond to situations in ways that create stress in a relationship – resulting in an early end – before any deeper intimacy can develop. This pattern shows up not just in romantic relationships, but also friendships and family relationships.

The most important step to deal with your fear of intimacy is to confront your fear by expressing the way you feel about it. Perhaps start by saying what you feel and not what you think you should say. Learning about feeling words can also help you to express yourself. 

If you find difficult to tap into your feelings, therapy can help you understand your emotions behind your behaviours and teaching you coping techniques. On the other hand if you are in a relationship with someone who has a fear of intimacy, you can help them become more aware of their feelings by offering safe space for listening without judgements.

The wonderful thing about learning not to fear intimacy is that not only your relationships and friendships improve, so too your capacity to create the life you want for yourself.