Most of us are taught from an early age that being selfless is a good thing. However, if we are not attuned to who we are and what we want, we can start to make sacrifices that do not just hurt or limit us, but negatively impact those who we care for.

When we fill our time with responsibilities and constantly prioritise the needs of others over our own, we can drain ourselves of energy and desire.

If we are kind to ourselves and considerate of our own needs, we are more likely to show up fully for the people to whom we extend ourselves. Otherwise, we may be going through the motions, but not engaging in a way in which everyone benefits.

You start doing things for others from a place of ‘shoulds’ instead of a feeling of having something to offer. You build up resentment not only towards others, but specially towards yourself.

You start draining others for not having your own needs met.

So, I invite you to have a moment of reflection – this week are you making decisions from a place that makes you happy or the people you care about happy? Are your decisions driven by self-care or pleasing others mentality?

Your critical inner voice is a huge distraction that affects your mood and behaviour, and it can often have this unrealistic desire to be ‘perfect’ and always put others first.

You are allowed to make a big deal about things that are important to you. Taking care of yourself and doing what you love is not selfish – it is essential for your wellbeing.

If you are already aware of your people pleasing layers, this is your reminder to step back this week and recognise how you are depleting yourself lately by giving too much to others.