Quite often people share with me the difficulties they have in asking for help. They are generally the ‘givers’ in the family, and they have this intrinsic responsibility to help everyone to the extent they completely forget about themselves.

The biggest reason many seem to have for staying stuck rather than reaching out is fear.

People fear they will be rejected or told ‘no’. They fear being seen as ‘needy’ or weak, or they fear being exposed as a fraud. They have always perceived themselves as the strongest in the family – how they can ask for help? They rather suffer alone than being exposed. The pain of being judged or rejected is bigger than anything else.

There are always opportunities for us to learn and grow. It doesn’t serve us to pretend we have every answer. It benefits us and others to know where to go for assistance when we need it, and then give ourselves permission to be heard, seen and receive guidance.

Asking for help doesn’t devalue you in any way. It can enable you to advance, connect you meaningfully with others, boost your productivity and ability to do things with greater ease, and better prepare you for your next challenge.

When you rely on yourself only, you hold a lot of stress in the body. This can be one of the reasons why our society is facing such a mental health crisis with high levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.

Being confident in your ability to get things done alone is motivating, but it is possible to go too far. Asking for what you need is a strength, not a weakness.

There is no giving without receiving, and it is the request that drives the entire cycle. Asking, giving, and receiving turn the wheel of reciprocity, connection, and love.